Verbal mistakes to avoid when teaching Embodiment

These are the most common verbal mistakes I see people in this field make:

  • Giving
    possible outcomes and metaphors, rather than clear methods, e.g. “Empty your
    mind”, or, “Have a mind like water”, versus “Bring your attention to the
    physical sensations of breathing”. This is known as non-operational language,
    as the clear method is missing and it forces people to guess what you’d
    actually like them to do!
  • Starting
    instructions with, “Just . . .” This is a common verbal tic, which minimizes
    the task, which may not be easy or trivial to your participants.
  • Use of
    foreign, “spiritual” or anatomical/scientific jargon, as a way of claiming
    status; it often makes things less clear.
  • Using an
    annoying breathy spiritual “yoga/dance voice” or even a different accent! Just
    speak normally! More broadly, practice use of tone matters, as this conveys
    your own embodiment.
  • Use of
    “good”, “nice” and other value judgements, which suggest certain options are
    better than others (assuming you don’t want to do this). For example, “nice and
    deep into the stretch”, implying that it’s somehow better to go deep than not.
    Value judgements may be inherent in word choices such as, “Collapse the chest”,
    which sounds bad compared to, “Flex the upper spine”!
  • Asking
    questions such as, “What happened in your body?” That frames people as passive
    victims of their own bodies. A better question that encourages personal
    responsibility would be, “What did you do in your body?”.
  • Telling
    participants what they are seeing/experiencing and not letting them spot it for
    themselves, for example, “You are feeling relaxed”. Letting people spot it for
    themselves teaches them self-observation and responsibility for their own
    bodies.
  • Not giving
    a reason for an exercise. This encourages blind faith, as opposed to healthy
    questioning.
  • Forgetting
    to ask permission when touching. Or alternatively, asking but not really being
    okay with a “no”. This creates compliance. The ethical way is to gain explicit
    verbal consent, or at least a non-verbal indicator.
  • Use of
    demands. Obviously, this is disempowering. I do not believe it is always
    necessary to make it explicit that a request not a demand is being made – e.g.
    by saying, “please” (!), ”I invite you”, “if you like” or by giving options,
    but it is a good idea to do this sometimes especially early on with a group.
    Tone conveys a lot but what is most critical in the request-demand distinction
    is how you treat anyone who doesn’t agree to your request!
  • Use of
    “we” when no agreement is made. This is an example of “forced teaming”, as
    opposed to gaining consent. For example: “We are doing X now” (also a fait
    accompli).
  • “Next
    you’ll . . .” This is another example of a fait accompli. Again, it removes the
    chance for participants to give consent. Instead, you could offer alternatives,
    support people who choose to not follow your lead and actively teach students
    to say “no”.

Some of these may seem like nit-picking and I’m pretty picky about this stuff to be fair, but these are more important than they may seem. That being said, it’s your embodiment that matters most and I’ve seen great teachers give terrible instructions, but with huge love, so they landed well. Others say the nicest things but filled with venom! Intent, tone and how things are received trump the exact words, and there are times when I would break many of these rules, so it’s situational too (for example in some cultural contexts, where too much choice may actually make people feel anxious).

Find out more on our Embodied Spirituality course

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2 thoughts on “Verbal mistakes to avoid when teaching Embodiment”

  1. So clear and to the point. Especially the bit about using anatomical words to gain status. Greetings from Barcelona

  2. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. The contents of this article made a lot of sense to me as a professional worker. On most occasions, i was doing some of the mistakes without taking note. I going to read the list more than once to register these points and start applying in my encounters with others. Please, keep sharing your knowledge and wisdom.

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